The Writing of David Andrés Alíx

I understand that I do not understand

Let’s Dance One More Time

Yesterday I was late, waylaid

Pulled over by a copper on the interstate

He cited me for ten miles per hour over the limit, cutting me a break

I thanked him and I was on my way

I turned on the radio and low and behold it was David Bowie’s Let’s Dance, which always reminds me of you

So I changed the station and low and behold it was the Beatle’s Let it Be when Mother Mary comes to me speaking words of wisdom saying let it be

So I kept it on and let out the passengers

Parked and entered and low and behold your mother María

I thirst for what words of wisdom she might have for me

I was held back by angels, preventing a simultaneous entry, that you may have peace

And I am being told that it’s enough of me, but I cannot let it go or let it be, because I only yern for the home which from afar I did see, which cannot exist without thee

Son

I am a son of sin

I am the sum of my sin

I am no father

Though I’ve fathered

I am a sinful son

Something Mine

I did say the words

Many regret never

Saying

 

That cannot

Be taken

Consoled

Was she consoled

That he had consolers?

Only if he could know

With certainty

That she had been

What I Should Have Said

Yes I do regret what I said.

I did not see you for a while, and I wanted to thank you for sending a plate of left-overs. It was not the very best I have had, but it was up there. You know, with that kind of thing, you are dealing with generations of cooks, and everyone’s family holds the secret to the best. I also wanted to thank you for the drink recipe you jotted down, and let you know that since you sent that home I had gained 20 pounds. Ha Ha, my attempt at being funny, but I really did gain weight, because we kept a batch of it on hand at all times. I also would have said, that you shouldn’t expect any more calls, it’s just that I missed you.

But I did call. And instead of saying any of the above, I told you something else. I do not believe it was God that made me say it, like many had concluded, and which I too believed for a while. I said it, from my heart and soul. And since I said it, my whole life was stripped down to the bone. Because of the shame I felt, I could no longer accept the friends I thought I had, and they all became barely acquaintances. My life was stripped down to what I really did have, which was my family, and what was in my head, knowledge of my profession, which allows me to be gainfully employed, in order to take care of my family, if only materially. I can confidently say that I can count my friends on two fingers. I was mistaken to believe I had many more than that. I am not your friend. I am resigned to the idea that we will never be friends. I was simply dreaming.

I have an enemy who has capitalized on my lack of good sense. He has seen when I am down on the ground, and his eye does not feel sorry when he puts his heel to my head, while I am trying to get up. I know I am not helping matters, but it is true. My stupidity in voicing what I really felt was always a mistake. I always knew that it would be, and I always imagined what would happen if I did say the words. Precisely what I imagined is what happened. I have been kicked down to the point that soon I will no longer be called brother.

What I should have said, was nothing at all. Not over the phone, not face to face. Just nothing, and let time put some distance between us, and allow you to enjoy your feast, in peace.

Others have ruined their lives, much worse than I have, and yet I am among them. I still have some things to hang on to. Very solid things. But you cannot be one of those things. I regret this too.

I do wish that those who should love you, love you with great intensity, never making you feel alone, always making you feel like the center of their universe. May you always feel full.

I am Uzziah

I shall remain leper, until the day I die.

Ever Loved

Should you be one loved by me

At any point in our history

Count it as forever and ever

My friend

My sister

My brother

A Pauper’s Petition

image

Perhaps a close friend
Has given way to tears
Today
Maybe suffering the same
Pain as the widow of
Nain
I am inside out, upside-down,
And in the weeds
Please give my friend
Exactly what they need
Give the thing furtherest
Beyond their wildest
Dreams
Listen, please listen
Do not turn your ears
Away
You always consider what
I have to say
Never reproaching due
To my sins from yesterday
Or the ones currently committed
Today
Give them what they need
Quickly that they be happy
And continue giving glory
To you like the leper who
Pleaded with your son,
“If you want to you can make me clean”
And he was made clean
Unbegrudgingly
If you want to you can make
My friend happy today
Completely, wholly
Please I plead
Please I plead
You always listen
To what I say

Healing Wounds

You did not occur to me

When the Lumineers came

Over the radio during

Lumbar spine surgery

Fleeting Eyes

I have made a life

Of not looking into the

Eyes

Of those who speak to me

 

Trying to find with mine

Those who do not

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